Wednesday, May 30, 2007

There's no place like home...

Every time I get a little down on my life as a stay-at-home mom, I think "wow, all my problems would be solved if only I got a break once in awhile..." What better opportunity than to jet off to Ohio to be surrounded by all things yarn for four whole days? Well, before I even set foot on the plane this morning I was already plotting ways I could get myself back home. I hated seeing Portland fade into the distance from the window of the airplane. I've been worried for months about the effect my little trip would have on my kids - what I didn't expect was how it would effect me!

Rather than surf the web for cheap return fares to Portland, I thought I'd share with you the Yarn Harlot's lovely letter to her daughter, in honor of her 18th birthday (okay, am I the only one who can't believe that she has a freaking 18-year-old daughter - was she like twelve when she had her?). Of course, you probably all saw this post before I did, being the good blog readers that you are. Except for Bill, who I am instructing to go read it right now. Thanks, honey!

It's so easy to get bogged down in the little annoyances of raising a toddler and a preschooler, especially ones who are "spirited" like mine. It's so easy to forget that the fact that Sydney needs to say everything at top volume is a sign of her zest for life, her sheer exuberance for every little thing that she's experiencing, and not something that we need to constantly shush lest the people at the next table be slightly disturbed. Now, saying the same thing at top volume twenty-five times in a row, that's something else entirely. Persistence? Unwillingness to give up at the first sign of impediment? I will try to take a deep breath and think about that the next time I'm ready to throttle her for demanding her vitamins for the forty-eighth time in five minutes. I do tend to be forgetful, which means that she may have learned this habit out of necessity rather than simply to annoy me.

When I'm away from them, though, even for the day, I forget all the little irritations and only remember their sweet little faces - Sydney's small voice over the phone (for some reason she sounds even more doll-like on the phone than in person), telling me she misses me, and how long is it until Sunday when I get to come home? Owen's chubby little hand planted firmly on my cheek, turning my head to show me the "woof" or "meow" or "boon" (ballon, to those who don't speak Owenese) or "coo-coo" (train, ditto) he's spotted. Their little footsteps when they run to greet me at the door, shrieking "mama", when I get home from wherever I've been for the evening.

It's good to have someone with experience reinforce the notion that the very traits that drive you crazy when your kids are small are things that will serve them very well as adults. Thank you, Stephanie, once again, for your fine words of wisdom. Now I'm trying to decide what I will be doing - trying to find the first flight out in the morning? Reviewing my class descriptions and the trade show map to get myself psyched up for the rest of the weekend here? Calling Bill so he can talk me down (or talk me into coming home)? I guess you'll find out soon enough!

PS - thank you all for your most helpful comments on the state of the blog. Sounds like you pretty much like it as it is, but perhaps with some tutorials and a bit more knitting thrown in. Duly noted - I will try to get on that, but as always, I reserve the right to remain incredibly lazy and just talk about things rather than actually doing them!


Blogger Carol said...

I totally understand where your coming from, but there are times we need to take time for ourselves..I think this is probably one of those times for you...enjoy yourself and you will be surprised how rested you will be when you get back home.....

8:51 PM  
Blogger Christina Franklin said...

Enjoy your vacation. Bill will do just fine with the kids, and when you return you will rested, rejuvinated, and inspired. Your kiddos will thank you for that.

2:26 AM  
Blogger Mama-E said...

I so get that. Thanks for the perspective friend!

5:54 AM  
Blogger Beth in WI said...

Hug Columbus for me! It's my hometown, but I only get to visit once or twice a year, any more. Don't forget to sneak out to Knitter's Mercantile, or just go down to the river and look at the Santa Maria. Might be a good knitting spot.

8:01 AM  
Blogger Ann-Marie said...

thaks for that post. i just came up to the computer for some solace as my day is getting progressively worse.
children fussing, hubby breezes in-leaves a mess and a criticism, breezes out--reduces me to tears.
have a shower--toilet backs up spilling water all over the floor, dripping into the basement

we all have those days, and i will try to remember to look at the positives....

10:06 AM  
Blogger msubulldog said...

Oh, I know. Isn't it always the way? *sigh* You take a much-needed break and then force yourself to NOT think about the kids the whole time. *Or in my case, feel uber-guilty after returning home for not thinking about them more. . . Ah, motherhood. :)

5:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have learned that the time you take for yourself greatly increases the amount of yourself you are able to give to others. Especially when it is your family. They have a very unique way of draining your 'Love Cup' just as easily as they fill it. So it tends to keep you at the same level all the time. The time away allows you to fill it a bit fuller so you have some reserves.
I hate to say it, but as they get older, you still need that time for you. Doing the teenage thing is maybe not as physically demanding, but boy does it tax the mental end of things.

Hope you are ENJOYING your time, and RELAXING to the best of your ability. Have fun, and btw...

there should be a box awaiting your return....

Your Knitting Fairy SP

4:51 AM  

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