Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Breaking up is hard to do.

I've spent the past couple days engaged in an ugly breakup with a former member of our knitting group. I won't get into all the gory details, except to say that it was pretty ugly and all-around sucked. The upside is that this person, who really changed the dynamic of our group when she came in, decided to remove herself from the group. The rest of us are relieved and ready to get back to our old comfortable, happy, relaxed dynamic.

I guess there's really no good way to tell someone she's no longer wanted, and I tried to do it as nicely as possible (which got me labeled as "passive-aggressive", something I won't necessarily deny since I am 75% Scandinavian and tend to avoid conflict at all costs - no offense to Scandinavians if this is just a trait of my large Scandinavian family, who always jokes about it being a trait of Scandinavians...). I sure wouldn't have taken it well if I'd been on the flip side of the whole thing, although I don't think it would've come to a head like it did if this person had not sent an e-mail to several people that started off with a nasty remark to another member of the group who happens to be one of my best friends. Coupled with a few other things she's said and done in the past few months (all small and forgiveable on their own but when viewed all together, not so much), this ended up being the straw that broke the camel's back.

I told her in pretty strong words how I felt (via e-mail, since I can't get past being a wuss about these kinds of things and tend to be completely inarticulate when trying to talk about stuff like this under duress), gave her an opening to initiate a conversation about what I'd said, and was basically told to screw off. Oh, well. I probably would've done the same thing in her shoes. At this point, I'll be happy if I never have to see or hear about her ever again! I don't hate her or wish her ill, but as she said in her final FOAD e-mail, we don't have to be friends. Some people just don't get along. It's still yucky to go through something like this. Oh, the humanity!

I cheered myself up by finishing my Grasshoppers:

And starting the first sleeve of my Lacy Cabled Scoop:

I have this crazy idea that I'm going to finish this in time to wear it at TNNA (I'm leaving for Columbus next Wednesday). I may be weaving in ends on Saturday night in my hotel so I can wear it on Sunday, but I think maybe it can be done! It's so rare that I actually have something knitted that I can wear since it usually gets sent off to someone else. I've got lots of socks, but those are harder to show off when walking the show floor...

I can also seek relaxation by hanging out with the girls:

Aren't they sweet? Or checking in on my ethereal little asparagus spears:

They are somewhere between DK and Worsted-weight right now but I was so worried that they would never come up, I don't care if they are the tiniest asparagus spears ever! We can't harvest them for a couple years anyway, so it doesn't really matter how big they are as long as they're alive... Think it might help if I did a little weeding? Sheesh!

We also are anxiously anticipating our strawberry harvest:

Along with lots of big, fat blueberries:

Yummy! Can't wait for ripeness to happen around here!


Blogger Ann-Marie said...

i've tried a couple of times to grow asparagus, and have yet to have them "make it'.
i LOVE that you referred to them as "DK or worsted weight"
that's hilarious.

1:01 PM  
Blogger Yarnhog said...

Oh, I'm sorry about the ugly breakup. Every time I think I've outgrown that sort of high school relationship trauma (at least that's how I think of it), another one blindsides me, leaving me distressed and wondering how I could have prevented it. I guess sometimes you just can't. And it's true that you're just not going to be able to get along with everyone, no matter how hard you try to make it work. Oh well. Pet the girls for me--they're looking good!

1:16 PM  
Blogger Beth in WI said...

I loathe conflict. (Maybe I have secret Scandinavian genes?) Bravo to you for staying calm enough to help straighten out the mess. I would have just cried and cried at the stress.

I also loved how you classified the asparagus thickness in yarn terms.

1:54 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

We had a similar situation in our knitting group a few years ago - a lady who had an opinion about everyone's project, and suffice to say, they weren't nice opinions. I'm so passive-aggressive that I made someone else tell her off, and it was one of the best things I ever did. Ahhh.

3:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She was right about one thing - some people are just not meant to be friends, and that is OK. Cudos to you for handling it well.

The Girls looks just lovely, and I am sure will look even better once they start laying.

Good Luck with the Strawberries, ours are almost done for the season here. This coming weekend is the annual Strawberry Festival. Although I have not managed any jam yet, only a few tortes and pies, and lots of sliced up berries on Vanilla Ice Cream.

Keep on going with the sweater - it will jump up and surprise you how fast you finish when you put your mind to it.

Your SP Knitting Fairy

6:06 AM  
Blogger Carol said...

Love the socks....can't believe your going to have the shawl ready so fast...Love the color!!

6:17 AM  
Blogger Yarn Thing said...

Girlfriend, I have so been there! Only, mine involved a former BFF and an entire knitting group that we started together. The end result was a complete split in the group because of our argument (she was talking behind my back and I wouldn't take it).

Hang in there!


6:37 PM  

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